Living in this generation is difficult. Being a girl in this society is brutal. No matter where you look, there are pictures of beautiful women. Whether it be in a magazine, on Pinterest, Twitter, TV, or Tumblr, you can’t escape the unfortunate fact that there are people out there that are more beautiful. There are people that are skinnier, have prettier hair, have better skin, bigger boobs/butt than you. It’s undeniable that you aren’t in fact the most beautiful girl in the world, despite what our dads told us growing up.
I don’t know about you, but I am so sick and tired of comparing myself to other women. Never, ever, ever does it make me feel good about myself. So, why do it? Since when do we, as girls, feel the need to live up to some unrealistic expectation society has placed on us? We need to learn how to admire someone’s beauty without questioning our own. We need to build each other up instead of tearing each other down. You think that girl sitting three seats down at the cafeteria has pretty hair? Tell her. You’re obsessed with a girl’s glasses that you’re in the same aisle with at Target? Compliment her. You think the girl at the gym has cute tennis shoes? Let her know. We shouldn’t be embarrassed to compliment other girls. Heck, we should be throwing around compliments like it’s confetti.
The key: Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t and start loving yourself for everything you already are. I was born bow-legged. This is one of my biggest insecurities. I always bring it up before people even have the chance to notice for themselves. When I was in fourth grade I shaved my eyebrows in order to try and impress my crush (fail). I don’t like the way my bottom teeth are. Someone will compliment me on my smile and I will immediately point it out. I have naturally olive-colored skin. Whenever I am told that I have a nice tone to my skin, I respond with showing them a patch on my arm that has pigment discoloration. DANG FLABBIT ABBY, JUST ACCEPT THE COMPLIMENTS YOU ARE GIVEN. It is so easy to fall into the trap thinking that we aren’t good enough. We aren’t pretty enough. We aren’t smart enough. We aren’t funny enough. We’re too sensitive. We’re too bitchy. We aren’t talented enough. We are “such girls.” Newsflash: I am a GIRL and I am ENOUGH.
Loving yourself is a very difficult task, mainly because people think that loving yourself means being extremely self-absorbed. As someone that has a hard time loving myself, I have learned that I make life so much harder by constantly beating myself up over my appearance, my abilities, my disabilities, etc. Thanks to my obsession (Pinterest) I have come across many quotes, articles, and simple little pick-me-ups to remind myself that loving myself is not only okay, but it is necessary.
How To Start Loving Yourself:
- Stop accepting your negative thoughts
- Never apologize for who you are or what you like
- Don’t compare yourself to others–you are unique
- Try to accept your ‘flaws’ as part of the unique you
- Reject the media’s limited ideal of beauty–create your own
- Recognize that ‘perfection’ is unattainable without acceptance
- Know that acceptance doesn’t happen overnight, but with time
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; There is no flaw in you // Song of Songs 4:7